Here are Rapid City pages 16 – 20
-Kav

Nice page. They look very natural and relaxed. In panel 2, though, Sidekick’s paunch looks a little odd.  He looks almost unhealthy. He should be thick, like a wrestler. Maybe think someone like Bam-Bam Bigelow http://www.wrestling18.com/wwe/bam-bam-bigelow-pictures/  You know what it is, in panel 2, his gut seems to continue getting bigger even below his belt-line. Usually, in the case of “a few extra pounds”, The belly recedes at the belt-line to accommodate the groin.

Also, his hair is missing in the last panel and shaded out in the first one. This should be an identifying characteristic for him, so include it as often as is reasonable. It wouldn’t hurt to make it a little bit longer either. And since we are talking about designing Sidekick, he should also be as lovable as possible. He is the warm heart of Rapid City. Everyone likes him because he genuinely cares about the people he meets… I mention this because the hatching, eye-shading, and short hair in panel 5 make him look (just slightly) like a homicidal clown with a hangover (just ever-so slightly)
-Josh

i remember you urged me to make sidekick look heavier so that’s why the paunch.  will fix hair and belly. thick, not saggy.  i get it. want me to remove homicidal clown eye shadow?

-kav

Really nice. I was thinking that this kind of shift is where we should use an establishing shot, but then I see that you have essentially worked that in at the bottom of the page. Not the traditional placement for one of those, but you very effectively set the scene. Nice.
-Josh

yes for pages  like this an establishing shot is critical-if one is not scripted I will fit one in.  PS its now nightime on these pages and will be in DB today.

-kav

I was afraid that panel 1 would be hard to draw, you pulled it off. Very nice. Panel 5 is just great. Kinetic looks like such a doofus back there. Very nice.  yeah he thought he was gonna be a big hero and he’s uneccessaary-this has happened to me.

Ok, here it is. The big moment. Panel 6. I love Kinetic’s reaction. The pic is sexy… but maybe TOO sexy. Not too sexy for our precious reader’s delicate eyes, I mean too carefully, professionally, sexy. It looks like it was posed by a photographer. (what lucky person IS holding that camera?) This picture is the result of Anne Marie trying to temp Kinetic back home to her. It should seem more playful.

webcam? ok i fix
-kav

The matching lingerie is strange and unlikely, and fishnets like that are Hourglass’s style but not Anne Marie’s.

my thinking here was AM wants to be like HG she borrowed a pair of her fishnets

-kav

As it is, this looks more like something that was found on the web rather than snapped in a moment of playful taunting.  This pic needs to show that it is clearly Anne Marie, that the person with her is clearly a superhero, and that they are being playfully sexual. So, this is how you achieve all of that in one image. Anne Marie, with her shirt off, is behind Hourglass who is fully clothed. This shows that there IS nudity going on without actually revealing anything. Anne Marie is reaching forward over Hourglass’s shoulder to snap the picture. She is raising an eyebrow at the camera like “How about it, sailor?”, while Hourglass is turning back toward her with amused surprise. They are probably both a little tipsy.
-Josh

-yeah i get it now- a closeup-this is one of those panels that stresses me out-i spent a lot of time looking for a pic-i know i’m not going to be able to find the scene you described so i will have to do something a bit different-mostly showing their heads

-kav

Kinetic’s reaction here is priceless. I love it. I also love that he can’t stop looking at the picture.

One other thing, I just re-read these script pages and I realize I left out a detail. It should be darkening as these scenes go on, turning night. I hope that this will not be TOO drastic a change for you to make. As it was my omission that caused it, I will be happy to pay you for it if it turns out to be a page-worth of work.

All in all, very nice work here.

-Josh

no josh its night slowly lightening. ps in that review http://www.spandexless.com/2012/05/the-grey-area-rapid-city-an-unclear-exercise/  he compared me to Mike Alred!  thats pretty awesome! dynamic is what i strive for.  PS stressing a bit-I am penciling 5 RC pages, 5 CM pages and doing revisions.  Gonna be busy today.

-kav

Almost done with crimson Mask #2 dude-then I can start hitting RC again

here’s an excerpt from recent CM page.  I keep a sean phillips page open while I’m inking to inspire me.

what about something like this with Kinetic in city just chillin on the street?
-Kav

Again, a great cover. But too noir. Notice the character is, again, looking down and back. Atthis point in the story, Kinetic needs to be looking up and forward. Believe me, there will be plenty of time for Kinetic and other characters to look back in regret.
I still really like the idea of the low angle shot looking up at Kinetic coming to rest. Do you want me top see if I can pose something like that with toys?
-Josh

If you come across something send it my way I’m pretty sure superman returns will have a pose I can use though-there are lots of scenes of him slowly descending to earth.  But how can it be a below shot of him showing him looking up and forward?  all we will see is his chin.

-kav

Scrap the cover?
I like the mock-up idea with Kinetic standing at the center of the image, but I can’t disagree at all with your idea to scrap it and try again.
Which brings me to the piece of art you posted. It is great. I love it. Does something like that fit the themes of Rapid City? I think that it does. It looks hopeful, but also contemplative.
How can we take an idea like that, but make it seem less weightless? That image of Superman seems so graceful and effortless. It looks like he has not a care in the world. Kinetic, on the other hand, has more worry than freedom. So, the question is, how do we take a beautiful concept like this and make it weightier?
-Josh

Ok I wasn’t posting that painting as a cover idea I was just sharing.  I don’t think Kinetic has actual worries in #1-no one is threatened, he eats well and has a home, no major diseases…he just is a new superhero unsure about himself…maybe that idea of him worrying is the wrong approach.  what about something like

with kinetic/brian

or something like

-kav

I love these covers. That Spidey is a favorite of mine. I have that image hanging in my classroom. It has actually inspired some pretty important scenes in Rapid City stories. It is great, but this is not the time for it.

The Powers cover is wonderful. Much more our speed. Especially as our book is called Rapid City. Rapid CITY. So, it would be good to show the city!

So here is my thought now. You know that Superman picture you posted yesterday… well, picture that combined with this Powers image. In your picture, Superman seems about to touch down. What if you spun the camera around so that it was looking up at him. What if the camera was sitting right where Kinetic was about to land and we are looking up at him as he is coming in. He is graceful, he is thrilled, he is nervous, and the city is glowing behind him like that Powers cover.

Can you see it?

-Josh

 I can see it and I’m gonna work on that.  If you find any shots from below send em my way.  PS did you know DC copied that iconic Spiderman cover two months after that came out with this:  funny, no? -Kav

Hey, Kav, I know that I owe you some money for the pages you have done. How much do I owe you. Sorry that I’ve been a bit out of touch lately. I was getting ready for the Boston Comic Con, but now that is done and I am ready to get back into making Rapid City comics.
-Josh

you owe me for 7 pages that’s $140 but you can wait for the next 3 pages and continue to pay in 5 page installments-i had that dr death 5 page proposal and crimson mask deadlines that’s why you haven’t seen pages recently.  ps i forgot monkey’s tattoo on p 6 that has been corrected.

Pages 11 and 12.

-kav

Monkey has a tattoo? Cool.
Those pages look fantastic. Of course I was worried about those scenes coming across as boring. And, of course, they will be boring. They are supposed to be a bit boring.
One of the real struggles I faced with this story arc was showing the LACK of conflict as a problem that Kinetic is facing. It is a significant character moment that he is staying out there despite the fact that there is NOTHING for him to do. No crime to fight, no people to rescue. But he sticks it out.
This is a hard thing to SHOW, but I think that you did a great job of it on these pages.
-Josh

Well it worked dude becaue that’s EXACTLY how it came across to me.  And, it wasnt boring.  I’ll tell you what IS boring, superheroes fighting CONSTANTLY and wisecracking the whole time and saying things like “you really are as evil as he always said you were!”  That’s boring.

PS dude what was it that made you hire me in the first place was it a certain image? Tony liked the way I drew stacks of money:

-kav

OK, now let’s talk about pages 6-10. Here the are.

Page 6. I love the crazy angle and poses in panel 2. I also love the interesting buildings in panel 1. Rapid City is really starting tio take on its own look. The other thing that stands out on this page is that these guys really look like two buddies hanging out.

Josh that’s EXACTLY what I was shooting for!  I feel like its me and you up there dude.

Page 7. I already told you how much I enjoy those first two panels. They look great. I like how this scene turned out. A pointless argument, a pointless fight, and a pointless intervention. Nice. The panel with the fist looks good. But I worry that, with the blast around it, it will look too much like Kinetic is doing the punching.

GOOD CALL!  Thats why i need another pair of eyes!  I’m removing that blast.

Page 8. Another great page. Love the plane showing the passage of time! Is that a call back to our conversation about what is in the sky? The one change that I might suggest from all five of these pages is in the last panel. The caption for that panel is quite dark and sad, yet his posture looks just as fun as when he was hanging out with Monkey. Maybe a higher angle would make him seem more powerless.

It WAS a call from that conversation.  What if I add a frown?  so it seems like he’s trying to leap away from his problems?  I’ll redraw the panel if ya want.  But a higher angle will withdraw the character from the reader…remember low angles pull you into the character high push you out.

High angle is just a thought. I love the idea of him seeming to leap away from his problems. I feel like the answer is in his posture.

Page 9. This whole page is breath-taking. You show so much with her body language. I love that first panel.

Its so feminine even tho she’s a tuff chick.  this was a hard page-i think i explained the trouble i have with good capes.  Cape in panel 4 my fave.

Page 10.Looking back at my script, I can see that you played around with the panels here a little bit. Good. I am embarrassed to have crammed so many panels onto this page, but you really made it work. Same with the previous page. Really good stuff.
-Josh

Oh I did some fast thinking to make everything fit Josh.  Last panel I didn’t have enough room to show her answering phone and a clear smile so i broke it up-it almost seems like her time power puts her in 2 places at once.   I especially like the eyes panel 8-very hard to draw an iris.  Her eyes look wet and glistening i think.   I really feel I know these characters now and how they need to be depicted.

Yeah. Those eyes look amazing.

Ok, Kav, now that you are used to using wordpress it is time to step it up one notch.
When you use the editor are you using the “Visual” or the “HTML” tab? If you are using the visual, I suggest you switch over to the HTML. Once you are past the basic familiarity, the HTML is actually a lot easier to use. You can better use the various formatting tags and such.
This will help to ensure that all of our exchanges are properly tagged.
Make sure that only MY posts are between the “blockquote” tags and that each of our exchanges is followed by either “-Josh” or “-Kav”. It will make things much more clear.
-Josh

Ok, moving on, in the last Open Studio I suggested a few panel changes. you posted these images, but for some reason they didn’t come up correctly.
Here they are.


I think that you can clearly see the improvement in the look of the Daryl image.
The Kinetic one looks just right. Nice work.
-Josh

Also, you mentioned Celtx in an email message. I have been using Celtx for a long time. It is a great script writing program. It certainly has its problems, but they are far outweighed by its usefulness.
The problem that you and I will have with using it is that almost all of my original Celtx scripts were lost. All I have left are the PDFs.
When we get to a point where we both have the current script on Celtx, it is a great collaborative platform.
-Josh

I’m not getting how the HTML tab is easier dude-it has a bunch of gobbldygook (sic) all around-remember dude everything i have to master outside of drawing slows down my drawing-so use it sparingly i think.  PS I’m really messing with the camera angles now dude you’ll see some of it in pages 6-10 due out today-but they were mostly penciled before your tip so apres that its gonna be wild.  Not too wild Josh don’t worry. I completely changed the straight on angle of the ‘cars in a line’ on p 7-due to your input- panel 2 is way dynamic.

-Kav

Man, I love that you are taking in the camera angle thing! I actually think that if too many people start to read this it might be bad for other artists! People will start saying “Why can’t you be more like Kav?”
As far as using the HTML mode… Don’t work too hard on it, but do try this. The next time you start a post (not add to one of mine) try starting it in HTML. And, try using some of the buttons up top. For example, high-light some text and make it a link by clicking the link button. Once you do that a few time, the gobbledeygook will make a lot more sense.
-Josh

Josh I disagree I think there have been plenty of successful mostly black covers-and

it would be colored just fine if anyone would listen to my color recommendations.

Val Staples would easily color this this.  EG:

-Kav

Even that piece is heavy on the black. It works because it is balanced with stress of light and color. I like a lot of black, but I can see how a colorist might not know what to do with it.
-Josh

Starting to get hits from the Boston Comic Con site.
That is cool, and I guess that means they have received and processed my application for some table space there.
It is April 21st and 22nd. I hope to see you there.

Even more, I hope to have new issues to sell there!

Also, though slightly late, issue 29 is very close to completion.

And, I keep getting more and more pages from Kav for the earlier issues.
I need to get more scripting done tonight, but I will post some Kav art soon.

The script for the 28th issue of my supervillain drama Rapid City has just been posted. Read the full script here.

Panel 1. Later that night, Icicle walks along the side of concrete bridge where a main road is crossing a set of railroad tracks. She is carrying the gym bag. Her clothes are in rough shape after running through the brush.

Caption: The cold never bothers me. But hunger does. Exhaustion does.

Caption: Cars just pass me by.

Panel 2. We can see a hint of the bridge she was crossing in the background. In the foreground, she is hunkered down behind a long-unused set of newspaper boxes. She is sliding a few bills out of the cop’s wallet that she took. The way it is flopped open, we can see the cop’s badge.

Caption: Twenty six bucks. That’s it.

Panel 3. Icicle is caught in the lights of a passing car, she raises her arm to shield her face. We can see rips and smears of dirt on her sleeve.

Read all of my previous Rapid City scripts right here.

The script for the 27th issue of my superherovillain comic book, Rapid City, has just been posted. Read it here.

Panel 4. Shot of Icicle trying her hardest just to hold it together.

ICICLE

Piledriver’s dead.

Panel 5. Small panel of the milk hitting the ground and busting open.

Panel 6. As large a panel as the page will allow of Katy grabbing Icicle into an awkward hug. It is awkward because Katy is carefully keeping her spiky hands from poking Icicle.

KATY

Oh, Steph. No. You poor…

KATY

Come here.

ICICLE

He’s dead, Katy. He’s dead.

Read Issue 27 and all of the previous Rapid City scripts right here.