Here are Rapid City pages 16 – 20
-Kav

Nice page. They look very natural and relaxed. In panel 2, though, Sidekick’s paunch looks a little odd.  He looks almost unhealthy. He should be thick, like a wrestler. Maybe think someone like Bam-Bam Bigelow http://www.wrestling18.com/wwe/bam-bam-bigelow-pictures/  You know what it is, in panel 2, his gut seems to continue getting bigger even below his belt-line. Usually, in the case of “a few extra pounds”, The belly recedes at the belt-line to accommodate the groin.

Also, his hair is missing in the last panel and shaded out in the first one. This should be an identifying characteristic for him, so include it as often as is reasonable. It wouldn’t hurt to make it a little bit longer either. And since we are talking about designing Sidekick, he should also be as lovable as possible. He is the warm heart of Rapid City. Everyone likes him because he genuinely cares about the people he meets… I mention this because the hatching, eye-shading, and short hair in panel 5 make him look (just slightly) like a homicidal clown with a hangover (just ever-so slightly)
-Josh

i remember you urged me to make sidekick look heavier so that’s why the paunch.  will fix hair and belly. thick, not saggy.  i get it. want me to remove homicidal clown eye shadow?

-kav

Really nice. I was thinking that this kind of shift is where we should use an establishing shot, but then I see that you have essentially worked that in at the bottom of the page. Not the traditional placement for one of those, but you very effectively set the scene. Nice.
-Josh

yes for pages  like this an establishing shot is critical-if one is not scripted I will fit one in.  PS its now nightime on these pages and will be in DB today.

-kav

I was afraid that panel 1 would be hard to draw, you pulled it off. Very nice. Panel 5 is just great. Kinetic looks like such a doofus back there. Very nice.  yeah he thought he was gonna be a big hero and he’s uneccessaary-this has happened to me.

Ok, here it is. The big moment. Panel 6. I love Kinetic’s reaction. The pic is sexy… but maybe TOO sexy. Not too sexy for our precious reader’s delicate eyes, I mean too carefully, professionally, sexy. It looks like it was posed by a photographer. (what lucky person IS holding that camera?) This picture is the result of Anne Marie trying to temp Kinetic back home to her. It should seem more playful.

webcam? ok i fix
-kav

The matching lingerie is strange and unlikely, and fishnets like that are Hourglass’s style but not Anne Marie’s.

my thinking here was AM wants to be like HG she borrowed a pair of her fishnets

-kav

As it is, this looks more like something that was found on the web rather than snapped in a moment of playful taunting.  This pic needs to show that it is clearly Anne Marie, that the person with her is clearly a superhero, and that they are being playfully sexual. So, this is how you achieve all of that in one image. Anne Marie, with her shirt off, is behind Hourglass who is fully clothed. This shows that there IS nudity going on without actually revealing anything. Anne Marie is reaching forward over Hourglass’s shoulder to snap the picture. She is raising an eyebrow at the camera like “How about it, sailor?”, while Hourglass is turning back toward her with amused surprise. They are probably both a little tipsy.
-Josh

-yeah i get it now- a closeup-this is one of those panels that stresses me out-i spent a lot of time looking for a pic-i know i’m not going to be able to find the scene you described so i will have to do something a bit different-mostly showing their heads

-kav

Kinetic’s reaction here is priceless. I love it. I also love that he can’t stop looking at the picture.

One other thing, I just re-read these script pages and I realize I left out a detail. It should be darkening as these scenes go on, turning night. I hope that this will not be TOO drastic a change for you to make. As it was my omission that caused it, I will be happy to pay you for it if it turns out to be a page-worth of work.

All in all, very nice work here.

-Josh

no josh its night slowly lightening. ps in that review http://www.spandexless.com/2012/05/the-grey-area-rapid-city-an-unclear-exercise/  he compared me to Mike Alred!  thats pretty awesome! dynamic is what i strive for.  PS stressing a bit-I am penciling 5 RC pages, 5 CM pages and doing revisions.  Gonna be busy today.

-kav

I think that any Superman poses would be TOO hopeful, too confident. Kinetic will be doing the kind of leap where you expect to land hard enough that you will use your hands to stop.
If he is looking coming in like this and looking either right or left, he will seem to be looking up. In fact, if we are at a low angle, anything but down will seem to be up.

-Josh

I think it’s time for the action figures dude-I’m stumped.

-kav

I will try to do something for you tonight.
Josh

Almost done with crimson Mask #2 dude-then I can start hitting RC again

here’s an excerpt from recent CM page.  I keep a sean phillips page open while I’m inking to inspire me.

what about something like this with Kinetic in city just chillin on the street?
-Kav

Again, a great cover. But too noir. Notice the character is, again, looking down and back. Atthis point in the story, Kinetic needs to be looking up and forward. Believe me, there will be plenty of time for Kinetic and other characters to look back in regret.
I still really like the idea of the low angle shot looking up at Kinetic coming to rest. Do you want me top see if I can pose something like that with toys?
-Josh

If you come across something send it my way I’m pretty sure superman returns will have a pose I can use though-there are lots of scenes of him slowly descending to earth.  But how can it be a below shot of him showing him looking up and forward?  all we will see is his chin.

-kav

Hey, Kav, I know that I owe you some money for the pages you have done. How much do I owe you. Sorry that I’ve been a bit out of touch lately. I was getting ready for the Boston Comic Con, but now that is done and I am ready to get back into making Rapid City comics.
-Josh

you owe me for 7 pages that’s $140 but you can wait for the next 3 pages and continue to pay in 5 page installments-i had that dr death 5 page proposal and crimson mask deadlines that’s why you haven’t seen pages recently.  ps i forgot monkey’s tattoo on p 6 that has been corrected.

Pages 11 and 12.

-kav

Monkey has a tattoo? Cool.
Those pages look fantastic. Of course I was worried about those scenes coming across as boring. And, of course, they will be boring. They are supposed to be a bit boring.
One of the real struggles I faced with this story arc was showing the LACK of conflict as a problem that Kinetic is facing. It is a significant character moment that he is staying out there despite the fact that there is NOTHING for him to do. No crime to fight, no people to rescue. But he sticks it out.
This is a hard thing to SHOW, but I think that you did a great job of it on these pages.
-Josh

Well it worked dude becaue that’s EXACTLY how it came across to me.  And, it wasnt boring.  I’ll tell you what IS boring, superheroes fighting CONSTANTLY and wisecracking the whole time and saying things like “you really are as evil as he always said you were!”  That’s boring.

PS dude what was it that made you hire me in the first place was it a certain image? Tony liked the way I drew stacks of money:

-kav

OK, now let’s talk about pages 6-10. Here the are.

Page 6. I love the crazy angle and poses in panel 2. I also love the interesting buildings in panel 1. Rapid City is really starting tio take on its own look. The other thing that stands out on this page is that these guys really look like two buddies hanging out.

Josh that’s EXACTLY what I was shooting for!  I feel like its me and you up there dude.

Page 7. I already told you how much I enjoy those first two panels. They look great. I like how this scene turned out. A pointless argument, a pointless fight, and a pointless intervention. Nice. The panel with the fist looks good. But I worry that, with the blast around it, it will look too much like Kinetic is doing the punching.

GOOD CALL!  Thats why i need another pair of eyes!  I’m removing that blast.

Page 8. Another great page. Love the plane showing the passage of time! Is that a call back to our conversation about what is in the sky? The one change that I might suggest from all five of these pages is in the last panel. The caption for that panel is quite dark and sad, yet his posture looks just as fun as when he was hanging out with Monkey. Maybe a higher angle would make him seem more powerless.

It WAS a call from that conversation.  What if I add a frown?  so it seems like he’s trying to leap away from his problems?  I’ll redraw the panel if ya want.  But a higher angle will withdraw the character from the reader…remember low angles pull you into the character high push you out.

High angle is just a thought. I love the idea of him seeming to leap away from his problems. I feel like the answer is in his posture.

Page 9. This whole page is breath-taking. You show so much with her body language. I love that first panel.

Its so feminine even tho she’s a tuff chick.  this was a hard page-i think i explained the trouble i have with good capes.  Cape in panel 4 my fave.

Page 10.Looking back at my script, I can see that you played around with the panels here a little bit. Good. I am embarrassed to have crammed so many panels onto this page, but you really made it work. Same with the previous page. Really good stuff.
-Josh

Oh I did some fast thinking to make everything fit Josh.  Last panel I didn’t have enough room to show her answering phone and a clear smile so i broke it up-it almost seems like her time power puts her in 2 places at once.   I especially like the eyes panel 8-very hard to draw an iris.  Her eyes look wet and glistening i think.   I really feel I know these characters now and how they need to be depicted.

Yeah. Those eyes look amazing.

Ok, Kav, now that you are used to using wordpress it is time to step it up one notch.
When you use the editor are you using the “Visual” or the “HTML” tab? If you are using the visual, I suggest you switch over to the HTML. Once you are past the basic familiarity, the HTML is actually a lot easier to use. You can better use the various formatting tags and such.
This will help to ensure that all of our exchanges are properly tagged.
Make sure that only MY posts are between the “blockquote” tags and that each of our exchanges is followed by either “-Josh” or “-Kav”. It will make things much more clear.
-Josh

Ok, moving on, in the last Open Studio I suggested a few panel changes. you posted these images, but for some reason they didn’t come up correctly.
Here they are.


I think that you can clearly see the improvement in the look of the Daryl image.
The Kinetic one looks just right. Nice work.
-Josh

Also, you mentioned Celtx in an email message. I have been using Celtx for a long time. It is a great script writing program. It certainly has its problems, but they are far outweighed by its usefulness.
The problem that you and I will have with using it is that almost all of my original Celtx scripts were lost. All I have left are the PDFs.
When we get to a point where we both have the current script on Celtx, it is a great collaborative platform.
-Josh

I’m not getting how the HTML tab is easier dude-it has a bunch of gobbldygook (sic) all around-remember dude everything i have to master outside of drawing slows down my drawing-so use it sparingly i think.  PS I’m really messing with the camera angles now dude you’ll see some of it in pages 6-10 due out today-but they were mostly penciled before your tip so apres that its gonna be wild.  Not too wild Josh don’t worry. I completely changed the straight on angle of the ‘cars in a line’ on p 7-due to your input- panel 2 is way dynamic.

-Kav

Man, I love that you are taking in the camera angle thing! I actually think that if too many people start to read this it might be bad for other artists! People will start saying “Why can’t you be more like Kav?”
As far as using the HTML mode… Don’t work too hard on it, but do try this. The next time you start a post (not add to one of mine) try starting it in HTML. And, try using some of the buttons up top. For example, high-light some text and make it a link by clicking the link button. Once you do that a few time, the gobbledeygook will make a lot more sense.
-Josh

Art keeps coming in as Kav makes progress on Rapid City Book I.
This is the sketch for part of page 10.

Learning the ropes

Kav asks very pointed questions about the pages and I can usually give him very specific answers. I am very proud of that.

Having a beautiful copy of Rapid City #11 in my hands cements the fact that Kav is the artist with whom to move forward with this project.

Actually, I made that decision a while ago. But in comics, things don’t actually happen unless you have pictures of them happening. So, here are the first two panels of the first page of Rapid City #1.

Because I actually started with issue 11, I guess this means that I am launching with a retcon. Fine. So be it!

The script for the twenty-fourth issue of my superhero comic book, Rapid City has just been posted.

Panel 3. Glyph smiling and proud, Kinetic looking up at him curiously.

GLYPH
Audiomancy.

KINETIC
What?

GLYPH
It’s a way of letting the universe tell you things. Finding patterns, not predicting the future.

Panel 4. Glyph gesturing around himself.

GLYPH
In a random shuffle, your mind will make meaning out the order of symbols.

KINETIC
You mean a tarot reading?

Panle 5. Glyph holding up his MP3 player.

GLYPH
Not that kind of shuffle.

Read and discuss this issue of Rapid City, plus all of the previous issues, for free here.

I am starting to work on my 24th issue.
At 1 issue a month, that puts me two years in to this project.

That means I have been producing a new comic book script every month for two years now.
Well, the truth is that I had a slight mis-step around the third issue and did a kind of re-launch. I am not sure how much that put me off schedule. Then I completely missed a deadline last spring. So, these 24 scripts don’t equal exactly 24 months. But I think I would rather count the birthdays every twelve issues. That way I have the big issue numbers to track my progress.

Anyway, I have something special planned for this next issue.
I am going back to my musical roots as well as trying something I have never done before.

If you have been paying attention to the story, you will know that my main character, Kinetic, has been through some rough stuff recently. His ambition to go out and be the guy who takes heroic action has left him as the guy who is constantly surrounded by pain and tragedy. So, the question he faces is, how does he move forward from here?

And I really don’t know the answer. I have a good idea where he is going, and what will happen to him….but I am not sure how he will get there.

I hope that you will be there with me to find out.